It’s Your Gift

“Many, Oh Lord are the wonders You have done!  The things You have planned for us no one can recount to You.  Were I to speak of them they would be too many to declare.” (Psalm 40:5)

The word gift has many definitions… thing given, present… natural ability or talent… the power to give… gifted, talented, intelligent.

Have you ever receive a gift that first of all you weren’t sure you wanted, or that you were worthy of?

The Gift…..

There was a very light tapping on the door as it opened, and a young man of maybe thirty entered the hospital room.

“What’s going on in here?” He asked as he entered.  Then he extended his hand to me and introduced himself. “I am a chaplain here at the hospital.” I introduced myself to him and then turned to Mama and introduced her.  Mama did not respond to either of us. In fact she had not been responsive to me for most of the day.

“So what IS going on?” he asked again. I began to tell him that Mama had been ill for over three weeks and in the hospital for most of that time. And now I needed her to help to decide where she was to go. The Doctors had said that they would release her to a rehab center, if she would try and get well.  But if not, they would only release her to a nursing home, she was not well enough for me to take home to my house.

He watched her for a few moments, waiting on her to speak, then he said,”Sweetie, your Mama is tired.” “I know.”, I replied. “She’s ready to go Home.” Again I agreed. “ Mama knows that I am not keeping her here.” “ Then, who is?” he asked.

I looked around the room. “I am the only one here, and Mama knows only too well that I love her too much to keep her where she would not want to be.”

“It’s Your Gift.” He said…

I didn’t have to ask what he meant.  Only moments before he entered the room, I had been praying and asking The Lord what to do.  I knew instinctively what he was saying to me. But this was a gift I wasn’t sure I wanted, nor was I sure that I knew exactly what to do with it. But most importantly… Was I Worthy of It??? I am not the first born, should that gift not go to him?  But I knew in my heart what My Lord already knew… I was the only one to give it.  It was a heavy gift to bear….

“Call your brothers,” the young man said.”Tell your family to come, she needs to know that she has their permission to go.”

There it was. The statement I knew was coming.

He left quietly, while I was conversing with The Lord..  I stepped out into the hall to tell him good-bye and Thank You… but there was no one there.  Had I dreamed it?  No, I was wide awake, standing in the hall of the hospital.

Then the thought came to me… he was a messenger… whether a real angel or an earthly one, I will never know, but his message was clear, and I knew he had been sent by God.

I called them all, and they came, loved on her, kissed her, and told her how very much she was loved.  All of them, but One. He missed her by a day. “ My big brother…..”I knew.” he told me, “I knew when you called me, that she was going home.” Maybe she knew she already had his permission.

That night for the first time in awhile, Mama watched TV with me. We watched “Touched By An Angel.”  Fitting??? I think so. This night was a quiet night, she did not call to me like she had on other nights.
”Margaret, are you there?”  “No Mama, Aunt Margaret is not here.. it’s me.” I would answer her as I put my hand out to touch her. “Of course it is, Sweetie.” She would pat me and seem to go off to sleep.  Some nights she would call out…” Nikki?”, “No Mama,” “Oh, yes , My Sweet Child, I know it’s you.” Even this was a part of the gift.

Just before sunrise on that July morning, my Mama went HOME. Home where she longed to be… Home to Heaven… Home to Jesus, Home to Daddy and her own sweet Mama and Daddy.

Now as I look back over the days and years before. When I would be called to come to Florence to take her to the doctor, or to rehab, or just out to lunch… I know it was all a part of the Wonderful Gift!! 

Those days would usually be spent with us in the doctor’s office in the morning and then having the afternoons to ourselves. To go to lunch, to sit and talk, to visit with my daughter and granddaughter. Oh What a Precious Gift. 

The few months before Mama’s death when she actually did live with me were even more special. We shared special times together before bed, saying prayers and then I would tuck HER in.

My Mama was the very first person to whisper that Name into my ear!!  She sang to me, read me stories, helped me memorize scripture, and prayed with me….

Oh, Mama, Thank You for the Gift!!

Oh Precious Lord, Thank you for The Gift.  I still miss her, I miss her just as much today as I did on that very first day. But How I Thank You for her, for the gift of her life… for who and what she taught me to be.